As you could see from the title, in this post we will be tackling Apple's parrot. This bad boi right here was introduced on the iOS 12.1 update, which makes him (when the review is being made) a quite young parrot. Is he a sir though? We will find out with this very scientific review, made following our typical criteria.
the parrot
Colors - 5 / 5
I think this parrot nails that part perfectly. I personally feel like every pattor ever should be green, and this one does that.
Here are his main colors, in order: Green (82AA3A), Yellow (F7EC5A), Red (B81600)
Face - 4.5 / 5
I believe it looks just as good, and truly expresses a parrot's sirness. However, a closer inspection shows that this parrot's beak is too large, and this will cost him half a star.
Body - 4 / 5
This does leave something to be desired, because of the rather weird looking and too thin shaft, though it is made up for by his standing position, which totally gives him his cool.
Legs - 5 / 5
There's not much to say, they just are really nice legs, thicc where they should be and sturdy looking.
Feather - 5 / 5
These feathers are smoothened where they should be, fade nicely and give him a very sir look. We don't get any complex patterns, but that's okay for an emoji.
Body proportions - 4 / 5
And lastly, he's got a quite nice body with the right proportions, with a very emoji-y look (no shit). A shorter neck would've been nice though.
And finally, the results - 4.5 / 5
Colors
5
Face
4.5
Body
4
Legs
5
Feather
5
Body proportions
4
These are the results. On average, we have a total of 4.583.
So that was it. I'm more than happy to announce that this pattor has passed our tests and is therefore a true sir.
Ah, the Microsoft Parrot. Probably not many people know it. How can you blame them though? This sir has only been introduced in Windows 10 in 2018, and has always been hiding in the virtual keyboard feature, both on Desktop and Mobile. You can admire him in all his glory here.
But enough briefing! Let's start with his review.
Colors - 3.5 / 5
Well, although I have surely seen more colorful parrots, I wouldn't exactly say this one is bad in terms of colors. The main ones are listed below.
#E81224; #0078D7; #FFB900
Besides the lack of more "jungly" colors, like green, that leaves to desire, this one is pretty solid and the palette is well arranged.
Expression - 2.5 / 5
In terms of emotions and facial expressions, you could say this parrot is not so happy to even be alive. You are able to see the desperation in his little dark eye, that seems to look down. His mouth is strictly closed, seemingly locked in that position.
Still, he's able to perfectly convey his interior death, while also making you question yourself for supporting a company like Microsoft by buying his disgusting proprietary OS.
Main body - 1.5 / 5
By also looking at the main body, you start to really see this sir's problems. He seems to be overweight, probably he eats all day to forget and distract himself from the harsh reality. Also, it seems to be not so detailed. In fact, he's basically flat, following Microsoft's minimal design canons of Windows 10. Not only, that black border that surrounds him is literally thicker than some of his body parts!
Yeah, sadly, he's not exactly the coolest nor the luckiest parrot on the district. What a shame.
Paws - 1.5 / 5
Even this parrot's paws could be much better. They start immediately after the main body, without intermediation of any kind. Also, his legs are basically sticks, I bet they're not even strong enough to support their own weight.
The worst part? They don't even let him rest on a perch, he has to keep floating in the air for the rest of his life. No wonder he's so depressed.
Plumage - 3.0 / 5
What could we say about the plumage? It's long from perfect but, at least, sufficient. While it has no special details or elaborate patterns, it's respectable. The parrot's main colors are repeated many times thorough his body, with Red being the most used one (for the main body, feathers and end), and Yellow and blue appearing rarely.
What I had hoped for was to see some nice and unique details, along with some desirable shadings of colors.
Body proportions - 2.0 / 5
This was the hardest criterion to rate. Let's break it down and explain it. Unless this sir reveals to be pretty strong, he would surely have some problems flying. His end is long, thicc, and too rigid, while it should be smaller and less constrained. His feathers are small compared to the main part of his body, so that doesn't help either. The paws are too wide and have no comfortable area of grasp. The eye is somewhat small compared to his mouth.
Again, analyzing it deeply, you can see why this pattor seems to be in constant pain.
Final thoughts - 2.3 / 5
Let's review the various criteria to give the pattor a final rating. (on a scale from 1 to 5)
Colors
3.5
Expression
2.5
Main body
1.5
Paws
1.5
Plumage
3.0
Body proportions
2.0
He gets a mark of 2.3. Sadly, this parrot doesn't reach the minimum passing mark. He gave it all it could on his plumage and colors reaching at least a decent mark, and really showed his flaws in terms of his body in general but also in regards of his paws. I'm truly sorry for him, but I have to say he really is not a true sir.
Thanks for reading this review. In the next one we will be analyzing Apple's pattor.
